Here is one final, very important point about forgiveness: Offenses against you are your trials. And by those trials, what is God doing? Perfecting you.

And after you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, strengthen, confirm, and ground you. (1 Peter 5:10)

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions and hardships, for the sake of Christ, for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

You may think you have a difficult marriage. You may think you have a difficult situation with your parents. You may think you have conflict in the home. Let me tell you this: The offenses against you are the very trials which God will use to make you like His Son. Don’t run from them.

Criticisms, injustices, offenses, persecutions, and mistreatments are for the purpose of your spiritual maturity. Don’t run from that process. If you respond to the stress and the difficulty appropriately, those trials will make you like Christ, and that’s the noblest goal of all. Be little concerned about your personal injuries and much concerned about your personal holiness.

Remember that in your trials God is at work, making you strong and holy. Because of this, you can forgive freely, knowing that the wrongs done against you are ultimately designed by God for your good.

When all is said and done, what keeps a relationship together is forgiveness. Because we’re going to fail, offend, and wound. But where there is instant and comprehensive and constant forgiveness, the relationship stays together. And God is honored and blessing is poured out.

In the end, the biblical theology of forgiveness is summed up in one passage:

For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a person bears up under sorrows when suffering unrighteously. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure? But if when you do good and suffer for it, you endure, this finds favor with God.

For to this you have been called, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in His steps. (1 Peter 2:19-21)

God really is pleased when you suffer unjustly and you endure it. There’s no credit for you suffering for your sin — there’s no favor with God in that. But when you suffer for doing right and you bear up under it, it brings favor from God.

Do you want to find favor with God? Then suffer a little. That’s how life is. You’ve been called for this purpose. It has to be like this — fallen world, fallen mate, fallen parents, fallen children, fallen friends, fallen family.

And our beloved Christ left us an example. No one ever suffered unjustly to the degree that Jesus did. He suffered more than any man and He deserved none of it. And in the midst of the suffering, He never retaliated. He accepted it and just committed Himself to God for the purposes which God had in mind.

Let God perfect you through your trials.

Remember: Forgiveness brings heaven to earth. Forgiveness puts heaven’s peace into the sinful heart. Forgiveness is the image of God. Forgiveness is the advancement of Christ’s kingdom. Forgiveness is what makes a relationship last.

This post is based on a sermon Dr. MacArthur preached in 1996, titled “The Key to Maintaining Family Unity.” In addition to serving as the pastor of Grace Community Church and the voice of Grace to You, Dr. MacArthur is the chancellor of The Master’s University in Santa Clarita, Calif. You can learn more about TMU at masters.edu.